You don't get to see your children as much as you would like to, and you are wondering if this isn't damaging to them.  The weekly call from your mother-in-law, explaining that in her day and age mothers actually raised their own children, doesn't help. 

All mothers are in the same boat

Any choice you make about how you manage your family life has advantages and disadvantages.  If you think that all mothers who stay at home are guilt free and constantly happy, think again!  Being a mother in today's society is a very demanding and challenging role.  The social and economical reality around us is changing rapidly, changing the image of motherhood and womanhood.  It's not easy to fit in to all the different roles women are expected to fulfill these days. 

There are some in between solutions that might make it easier to fulfill your multifunctional position in life:

Working from home

You won't have to sit in your car during rush hour, wasting a few more precious moments of your day.  You can be your own boss and set your working schedule according to your convenience. It can give you the flexibility you need with out giving up on your career or extra income. 

Changing employment terms

Many employers may agree to suggestions on how to change the terms of your employment so they go with your new job of being a mother.

Going part time - You can reduce working hours to part time. 

Job sharing - You can share you job with someone else.  If it's someone you work well with, it might be more productive for everyone.

Telecommuting – establish a home office you can work from instead of going to the office every day.  More and more people are choosing this option, parents or no.

Change working hours – There are many ways to distribute 40 hours per week. Redistribute your working hours so you are more comfortable and your boss is still content.

One of the things that may stop you from asking your employer to change the terms of your employment, is fear that it might damage the progress of your career.  It's true that many companies acknowledge your contribution to the work place by allowing you the flexibility you need, but assume this also means you are no longer a candidate for promotion.  If you choose any of these solutions, you might encounter this problem and the only thing you can do to avoid it is to keep your eyes open for options of promotions and do your best to put yourself in the picture. 

Try out one or two of these possibilities to help you understand which solutions are good for you. Experiment with the different options to find a way of life you enjoy more.  But remember, guilt is apparently a side effect of motherhood (and parenthood) so you can't really expect to lose the habit completely!

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