Hi people...
I am 25 and 6 months ago, my husband left for Iraq. I was 1 moth at the time that he left. He told me that he was going to be back as soon as possible and that he wouldn't leave me and the baby. The problem was, I got a letter a couple weeks ago that said he wasn't coming back. I am very distressed and have been crying ever since. My family has bin trying to tell me that I have to let go and not look back, in other words they are trying to tell me to forget about my best friend...my husband...my everything. Please respond, I need some advise.




-Emma

I'm so sorry, I can imagine what you are going through, as my husband just died. While your situation is different, I am six months pregnant with a daughter and am going to raise her alone.
Look to your friends and family for support, it will be hard and it will hurt, but your child will be your main concern once he or she is born. I'm so sorry, I can imagine what you are going through, as my husband just died. While your situation is different, I am six months pregnant with a daughter and am going to raise her alone.

Well you need to hope for the best but expect the worst!! My friend's husband was in the military and every time he got deployed he would call and tell her he wanted a divorce and when he got home they would make up and be fine...they have been married for 10 years!! It is something about being deployed...I'm not saying it is ok but men think alot different than women. Maybe it is because they are afraid they are not going to make it home and think it would be best for you to move on now?!? Who knows what they think but you should talk to a military councelor. They might be able to help out more. Good luck!

Hi, Emma, I just got your note. Of course your baby girl will remind you of Clayton, but remember she will be her own person. It must be really hard for you. You may be depressed after the baby is born, but try to see some light in the situation.

I was a military wife for 10 years. My ex husband was deployed alot and basically missed my first 2 pregnancies. He left when I was 7 months pregnant with my son and came home when he was 4 1/2 months old. My daughter, he left when I was a month pregnant and came home 2 weeks before she was born. He managed to be around for our second daughter. I spent alot of time alone, far away from family, and as a single parent, inevitably we split up. Your husband is far away and facing some of his biggest life challenges. He's is missing friends and family, he's most likely seen people die and feared for his own life. To top all of it he is becoming a father and has almsot no connection to the actual event. He isn't seeing you grow, or feeling the baby move. He's probably really frightened and unsure of himself. Everything is changing who he is as a person and he may be overwhelmed by it all. I would strongly suggest going to see the nearest base chaplain for support and advice. He may be able to contact your husbands chaplain and start some counseling. Also continue to send him pictures of yourself, and ultrasound pictures, let him know what happens at the doctors appointments and what names you like. Stay away from discussing your relationship and focus on sharing baby news with him, maybe send him some daddy to be books. Help him build a connection with the baby, even if you don't work your relationship out he'll still be the baby's father and that bond may bring him back to you as well. Sorry this is so long but I really do understand your situation and I hope this helped

quick question....is he not coming back because he wants to split up? Or did they extend his deployment so he won't be there for the baby's birth? just curious