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Re:my pregnancy is ruining our marriage (1 viewing) (1) Guest
my pregnancy is ruining our marriage By Kaelynn 2 Months Ago hi,
My husband and I are finally expecting after I developed PCOS we adopted a little girl from China to fill the spot of a child in our heart's but we still yearned for a baby that was ours and the whole expeirance, so my husband asked for a raise at his job and we tried IVF, the first time it failed and it was a bust. So another year went by and we went back this time we got what we desired three little babies, a miracle. During the first two trimesters it was all rainbows and sunshine and than it took a turn. We were always fighting about names and how moody I was, we even went to marriage counseling! I'm now nearing my due date.Can anyone give any advice? what do you think about our names? Fawn (our little girl {3}) Briant Kyle Ryden Kent Leya Karen
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Re:my pregnancy is ruining our marriage By lilyA 2 Months Ago I like your names!
The marriage counseling didn't work? You should deffinatly trying to patch up your marriage before the babies come, that's really not a healthy situation for a new born where parents are fighting. Why don't you and him just talk?
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Re:my pregnancy is ruining our marriage By Granny Nora 2 Months Ago Hi your names sound wonderful, so your havng two boys and one girl? That makes your household even! Anyway, I don't know what is happening in your marriage, but everyone has a rough patch while expecting. Keep in mind that you are adding three more mouths to feed, cloth, and school. He could be panicing inside and hasn't let on to you what is bothering him. lilyA is right, try to sit down and talk, and see why he has changed. Or try another marriage counselor. You sometimes have to search out one that clicks with your personality, just like a MD. Good Luck!
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Re:my pregnancy is ruining our marriage By Nonny 2 Months Ago Hi Kaelynn,
I am sorry about your situation. It must be terrible to anticipate the birth of three miracles while undergoing a crisis in your marriage. Any marriage/family undergoing such a major change is understandably going to experience conflicting emotions. Unfortunately, the emotions husbands and wives have are often experienced just the  opposite  of one another . When you are up he is down and vice versa. Your hormones and emotions are naturally going to be in an upheaval and so are his. Having a very pregnant wife carrying 3 babies and a 3 year old daughter, he is low man on the totem pole and is probably feeling it. A small annoyance becomes a major aggravation, tolerance goes out and animosity slides in the door. It's almost like trying to walk a tightrope in an earthquake. Don't sweat the small stuff. Imperfection is not a criminal offense in either of you. Be aware no husband and wife have ever achieved success in reading each other's minds accurately even 50% of the time. So, if he felt you were moody that is his legitimate feeling. It's okay. You think you were fine that is your legitimate feeling. It's okay. On occasion, I have often reminded my family that while we are all in the same room each of us sits in a different chair and has a different view. So when we describe what we see each of us describes something different. Everyone is right in what they see but, however hard one tries, there is no one who will describe the room 100% accurately from where they sit. No one is perfect and, actually, perfection can be overrated. For example, once fruit is perfect it rots from within. People do as well. The important issue is do you love each other? Do each of you want the best for your spouse? Communicate that to each other. Be honest with each other. Was there a particular event that caused the change you refer to or was it a gradual development? It is okay to say I'm sad, hurt, angry, lonely, afraid. Avoid accusing by saying "You made me sad, hurt, angry, lonely" etc. One person acts and another reacts. While each one makes a choice, realize they are separate choices. Finding the right counselor for both of you is so important. Counseling can be hugely beneficial when both partners want it to succeed and have a willingness to hear what the other one feels without interrupting and without judgment. I hope and pray you will end up stronger together with a deeper love, understanding and contentment for weathering this stormy patch in your marriage. I will keep you in my prayers. Blessings, Nonny
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Re:my pregnancy is ruining our marriage By Kaelynn 2 Months Ago So last night we talked and he said that he was sorry but he's just scared.
He recently switched jobs after we found out we were expecting. So it's hard because he knows he wants to provide a perfect life for our angels and its hard. His dad was paster and expected his only boy out 11 children to follow but he knew he couldn't provide a "perfect" life for us. The problem with the marriage counselor is she wasn't use to dealing with people who wanted to be able to carry out a normal life and have no intent of divorce. One of our things we decided we need to work on is talking. The doctor wants me to stay a pregnant as long as possible because baby c (Leya) isn't as big as the other the two boys and he wants me to up my calorie intake to see if Leya can get above 4 lbs, her brothers are 7b each which I'm thanking god so much for because I was so nervous I would get tiny 3lb babies. It's so amazing to me because I used to be a ballerina, like pro and I went from 110pounds to 189 pounds in 8 monthes 3 weeks and 2 days.
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Re:my pregnancy is ruining our marriage By lilyA 2 Months Ago Oh wow that must be hard on your feet, my son does/did ballet and wow his ankles have so much damage from it and he's only been doing it for 6 years.
How much longer do you think your going to go for?
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