Im 25 years old with 3 cutie little girls.Im married but going throu a dirvoce now. Im raiseing 3kids by myslef but ther daddy to my 2youngest girls is being a man and helping with them still.(like buying daipers,wipes,ect.) But ther thing i need help with is this my oldest girl Caitlyn which will be 4years old in january. This is the story with her...I was 20years old and her dad was 18.we had been together for almost 3yrs. We had 2misscarges and wanted a child and to be married.(so i thought)we lived together had our own place and worked.When we found out that i was pregant the 3rd time.we was hoping that she would make it. which she did. BUT when i was 2months pregant with her he ran out and told me he didnt want anything to do with the baby or me beacuse i was the mom to her. Well Caitlyn has known my ex-husband as her dad he has took care of her from day 1 and she also has his last name.Her real dad still want have anything to do with her or even look her way and she dont even know him as her dad. so i thought it would be best that my ex-husband raise her like his own. but is this really right to be doing?? I dont want her hurt by the truth when shes gets older. and finds out that the man that has been there throw everything is not her real dad. That her real dad choosed his party,drug,ahoicol life over his child. This has been on my mind for the last 3years now.I have telling me that he should be paying child surrpost but i dont want it. Ive done rasie he for this long doing good and giving her everything she needs. and my ex-husband treats her the SAME as his own kids and is good to her. I just want to KNow what i should do?

Personally I would leave things the way they are for now, if your ex is willing to still be her dad then let him, when she is older and capable of understanding then let her know about her real dad as she would prolly hate you if she found out any other way... What matters most is that she is loved, taken care of in every way and isn't treated any different to her siblings and if your ex is going to that then that is what will make the world of difference later on when she is older and finds out the truth because she will have the knowledge of what a real dad is all about to be able to compare her biological sperm donator too
Leave it be for now and wait a little while, the divorce itself is going to be traumatic enough for a four year old to be going through let alone the knowledge of her daddy not really being her daddy
Thats my advice for now anyways

Iif hes still willing to be her dad then let it be. but when she old enough to understand that hes not her real dad she has another but he doesnt want to see you or her let her know i think she still has a right to know

in my oppinion its the person that brings her up and is there for her thats the daddy, maybe when shes old enough you can sit her down and explain but i wouldnt worry at the min let her "real" dad be there for her.

My little sister is from a different father than me and my older brothers too. She never met her real father cuz he was abusive and an addict that nearly killed me and my brother tommy. Well, she was raised by my dad and didn't know anything until she heard my mom and dad fighting about her dad and it was me who had to tell her the truth. She still calls my dad hers and he still loves her like his. Biology is just another science that has nothing to do with feelings.

My cousin Crystal got pregnant at 16 with her daughter Alexis. Her and her parents lived in Florida but ended up moving back to Kentucky after Alexis was born. I've never heard anything about the father, but when Alexis was about 3 Crystal started dating this guy Nick and they ended up having their son Korbin. Alexis calls Nick dad and as far as I know she doesn't know about the real father. Nick cares for both Alexis and Korbin as his own, and that's just the way it's always going to be.

I think it would be best to just keep things the way they are. If he cares for her like his own, then I think that's great. If you ever want to tell her about her real dad then you could do it years from now when she's older and mature.

Alyssa