just wondering if anybody know rules of custody when a couple is still married!!
im still married but tryna divorce and get custody of my kids my husband just got home from iraq he lives in a different state than i do cuz of military i allowed him to comeand take our 3 kids cuz he hasnt seen them for a year and now he wont give them back to me but invited me to come and see them this week im gonna see them but now he will only allow me to come to where he is havin my sons bday party at im going to try and take them home with me when i leave but i know he wont freely allow me too and my kids have only been with him for about a month so their residency is not in the state where he is at its in the state where i am!!!

ANY ADVICE of is this ok what he is doing?
i have talked to lawyers to get emergency custody and all that but its so expensive right now i dont have the money

In the state of Missouri, custody is with the parent who has their hands on them when the cops arrive unless a legal document is on play. Are the kids enrolled in school in your state? Do you have birth certificates and shot records? You might go to his local police department and ask them what the "rules" are and how the would determine custody. Show them the proof that the children have lives to get back to and maybe they can offer help.

How long is he scheduled to be stateside? My husband is a cop and deals with this here in Washington state; I suggest to contact the authorities where he is. Get in touch with his local CPS. Have copies of any parenting documents you have.
Please remember he loves his kids, too. Talk to him to find out what he wants and see what you can figure out. Get grandparents involved for a conference call, it may not work, but it might.