Hi all, I'm due with a girl in 3months and have 2 older boys....5 and 7. The big age difference worries me, especially for the 5 yr. old, he's been the "baby" for so long. If life were perfect, I would have had another one sooner, but I guess it wasn't the right time...anyone have ideas/suggestions on including and making the older two not feel so left out?? or am I just stressing about it too much?

Thanks

I think that the main thing is to set aside time for them (at least an hour each day). try playing a different game every night after dinner or when the baby is sleeping or do something special with them on weekends like the movies or the park. Also try and include them in helping take care of the baby, such as helping choosing her clothes for the day, which bottle to put her milk in and which toy to take in the car. Also when the baby is new, (this may sound stupid but i found that it helped) take lots of photographs with them and the baby and put them in a special album for them to flick through whenever they want.

trust me, it may take a little getting used to at first but they will get used to it.

good luck!

trust me... don't worry about it!! the 5 year old might be a little sucky at first but he'll get over it... sounds mean but its true!! when the baby naps... which they do a lot you can play games with the boys and help them make stuff but dont centre attention on the 5 year old because than he'll become suckier, just keep on going like its a normal day!!

It will be fine. Get them involved during your pregnancy. Give them ownership of the baby as being 'their baby' as well, and things will go okay. Expect a little difficulty if your 5 year old is just going to be starting kindergarten this fall. Talk to his teacher ahead of time to voice your concerns and I am sure he/she would be happy to watch him closer at school and report any concerns to you. Introduce your boys to other babies and see how they relate and then discuss any negative thoughts if they have any. My son is 14, my daughter is 11 and my youngest just turned 1. We are going to have twins in September, and my older kids are GREAT w/our 1 year old and anxious for the twins to arrive. We come from a large family w/lots of babies, so they have always loved babies, but if you don't have that opportunity, see if you can make one by finding moms w/younger kids that you and your sons could hang-out with. It will take away the fear of the unknown. Let your boys know how excited you are for the baby and it will rub off on them.

Try telling you older sons storys about when they were babies and get out their baby books and show them pictures. That way they know the baby isn't getting special treatment and they got the same thing when they were babies.