The fact is, teenagers will have sex. I don't think you should have it if you're not married or at least in a commited relationship, but hormones will take over. Lay down some rules and definitely keep an eye on them when you can.

Also, Happy2bme: It bothered me when you said teens who were taught self-control didn't have sex. It seemed like you were insinuating that if you had sex outside of marriage you had no self-control. Sure, its not wise, and its a sin but you can have all the self control in the world and do it. Some people just aren't religious and weren't raised to see it as wrong. I was raised by atheist and hippies and sex was an expression of love in the eyes of my parents. I have, in my opinion, lots of self control, mostly because I had to grow up in a difficult house hold where my parents had none and I still had pre marital sex, does that make me a bad person?

okay call me a bad parent go ahead but... i bought my son a box of condemns...heres why my sons girlfriend sleeps in the basement in the extra room ...that night she was really upset about something..like she wouldnt eat or anything. that night my son said he was going downstairs to go on the computer downstairs since its the new mac...well i went back downstairs like 4 hours later and there they were! they were fully dressed but they were in the same bed..the next day i bought a giant box of condemns and put in his nighttable drawer with a note saying "I know. dont make it a habit" everyonce awhile i check that box..it hasnt been opened so i'm monorly relievd..i almost ruined my life by having a kid in highschool (my son) but i pulled it back and now looking back on it i hve know idea how i did it and i would hate that to happen to my son or anyone else!

From a teens point of view, sex is a normal thing, and the average age a teen has sex for the first time is dropping dramatically.
So I would be happy they waited until they were sixteen...

One thing I know is that most kids are going to do it if they want to, and telling them to wait, just makes me want it more, and can cause recklessness and family issues.

I would explain methods of birthcontrol to both of them, and what can come from sex, and let them make their own choice.

i agree with you...when i was young when i had my son all i wanted to do was rebel against everything my parents said..

Well, here's the thing. If you grow up in a Christian home, then you are less likely to do it. And if you do it anyway, you know it is wrong and you feel GUILT, GUILT, GUILT. And then you are more likely to stop doing it instead of just keeping on thinking it's all okay. Parents are allowing their children to think it is okay because they are handing out birth control and that is making the child think, it's okay for me to have sex all I want. Why not let them suffer the consequences of having sex if they're going to anyway? All I know is our children will be taught that it is for marriage and that outside of that it is wrong. I'm not saying they won't ever do it, but I can say that they will be less likely to do it because we will talk with them about it and why they should wait; not hand them condoms and tell them here it is if you want to do it. But I am very sure that it's going to be hard to teach them what's right when all this mess is going on with teens having sex and seeing it everywhere on the media! Also, I don't understand the girlfriend/boyfriend spending the night at each other's house; that is only asking for trouble, even if the parents are there!

Claireheart23: What I meant was, teens were taught to control their urges to have sex and just knew better (I am talking about years ago, when our grandparents were teens). They still wanted to, but stayed away from situations that would tempt them from doing it. I'm not talking about self control with other things, I'm talking about self control with sex. Teens do not HAVE to have sex; it is not a need they have, it is a want. And we can control our wants.

And Bridoe, just because everyone's doing it doesn't make it right. Sex is a normal thing...for faithful married couples. You can do what you want, believe what you want, but that's how it is. This has been talked about before on this site. If people cannot see the results that pre-marital sex brings, all the problems it causes, I can't understand why because it is all so very obvious, whether one believes in God or not. Most teens are going to do what they want, alot of times because the parents let them. But I will tell you this, 10 or 15 years from now you will look back and wish you had listened to your parents.
If you are a teen having sex, first of all, more than likely you will not marry the person you are with now. No matter how much you think you love him, usually teens break up, especially after becoming sexually active. So that means you will be dating other people, and if you don't change your views about sex before marriage, you'll probably be doing it again with someone else. You will never forget who you have sex with. Now answer this: would you want to marry someone after he's been with lots of girls and you with different guys, or would it not be better to wait and have sex with your husband and know he is the only one you've been with? That is romantic, and that is true love. But then again, sometimes you just have to let people learn things the hard way.