I have 3 amazing boys Jake,4 Dylan,2 and Tyran 5 months at the moment.

Jake is extremely spoilt as i have noted in some disscusions and so is Dylan my boys mean everything to me and as my one grandmother had a stillborn and had 2 miscarriges and my other grandmother had 7 miscarriges and also my mother had 1.
I am so scared i will lose them i know it's stupid but i have always wanted a girl and as i only found out 3 months ago about my grandparents miscarriges i am scared that it might happen to me.

All my children are well mannered and are polite but they can have there moments my grandparents spoil them and so do my parents but i need to know how to calm them down sometimes???


For example if i take them shopping which i like to do often they throw a fit when they want something or say they need it when i know they don't. They want alsorts of different cereals and Milk, Cheese, Ham and anything like that. I do spend alot of money keeping them happy but it won't last forever and i need to let them know it. I don't want them to miss out on anything and i want them to have the beat start into life.

So please if anyone could give me any adive i would be extremely grateful?

I wasn't clear in the beginning, because you were talking about miscarriages in your family, and then you talked about your boys being spoiled. So this is the question: Do you spoil them BECAUSE you think you'll lose them? If that's the case, stop giving them what they want. You're right, they will be happy, but then they think that they can have whatever they want in get into the routine. They will become rotten if you continue this and turn them down the sooner, the better. The more you do it, the more rotten they'll become, and the more stress it will put on you.

sounds like u just need to say what u mean and mean what u say. no means no yes means yes. i know that sounds simple but if they know u mean what u say generally they will ask less. no matter how much hastle saying no is stick 2 it

Yeah, thanks for the advice girls i will try it.

The thing is they don't really ask for it i give it them they're to young to know what they want.
And what i meant up the top is many people in my family have had miscarriges or lost a baby due to being stillborn and i just think it will happen to me and i really would like a girl and im afraid to try again just in-case i had to watch family members and my best friend go through it while i was young and it was devastating.#

Thank you anymore advice would be greatful.

First as far as having another baby goes, well its a leap of faith like all of the other big decisions in life. no one can guarantee anything and what is meant to be will be. I know for me each pregnancy (I've had 2 early miscarriages and 4 healthy children) had had its own set of fears. However, each experience has made me who I am and I am grateful for that.

As far as the spoiled kids go well I have a very strong opinion about that. It is not our job as parents to give our children everything,fight every battle for them, or be their friend. It is our job to set boundaries, allow them to learn that life isn't always fair as gently as possible, and give them the tools to deal with what they will have to face as adults. They are only children for a short time and it is imperative that they learn to be the best people they can. They want boundaries and guidelines, it makes it easier for them to know what to expect of themselves and others. We are raising them to be adults not children. Just remember an employer is not going to put up with demands when they are older, instead they'll lose their job and never take responsibility for why it happened. It's hard to be a disciplinarian, but its even harder to be the parent of an adult child who can't take responsibility for themselves. no means no.

I work in an OSHC program in a particually expensive private school so I deal with my fair share of spoiled kids.

I beleive spoiling kids hinders them in the long run, when they get older they wont get everything they want, ebcause it will be out of mummy's hands, and it will be much harder for them to cope with because theyre not used to it.