I was wondering... I don't have kids, but I've been told that you are far more patient after having your own kids. For any experienced moms, is this really true??

The reason I ask is I would love to have kids someday but sometimes I'm appalled by the behavior of my friends' children. I grew up in a really strict household almost to the point that I wasn't allowed to even express myself. I always thought if I ever had kids I would be very laid back in allowing them to be free to say / do things they want without worrying about the consequences.
Here's the dillemma, what about when they are disrespectful and disobedient? How do you discipline your children w/o stifling them?? What are your methods for raising balanced, respectful children?

P.S. Another thing I've seen is when kids "act up" the parents don't want to acknowledge the behavior of their own children, or will blame it on somebody else. Has anyone noticed this in some parents? Just curious if anyone has seen this trend??

Yes that's true, i wasn't a very patiente person untill my first one was born.
Being a mother is not an easy task but with time you'll get used to it.
The first thing you need to do is tell your children what's wrong and what's right, if you tell them drugs are wrong while they are still young they will stay away from drugs, the problem is that some parents don't do this or make it sound right.
The second thing you need to learn is to say "NO", even though it might hurt you sometimes because you always think "what if i allowed, just this time.." you have to say "NO" more than what your expecting but it's for their own good.
The third thing is, rewarding and negotiation, this one is pretty efficient, you just do a deal with your children for example, if you have good marks i'll give you this thing you wanted really bad or if he/she has done something right that makes you proud of just reward him/her might only be a chocolate but the act is worth 100 words.
extreme situations!!

And the most important lesson of all, Be understanding, show them they can trust you and you trust them, show them you'll always be there for them and don't be afraid of allowing them to grow up, it's hard but taht's the way it is.

Maybe because you had the kind of family you had your now scared but don't be, if you just do your best i'm pretty sure you'll be a great mother.
If you wnat to know anything else feel free to PM me

Good luck

i am the first one to pull my kids heads in when the misbehave, especially if they KNOW they are donig wrong, and believe me 99% of the time they know..
i will not stand for rude nasty or disprepectful behaviour from my children, and at almost 4 , 5 & 8 1/2 ((that half is very important to Kain..lol)) they are very well behaved and well mannered in public,
sure they can be little shits at home screaming at one another fighting nd dobbing, but thats at home, of course they are going to push yu to ur imits, to see what they can get away with, but YOU as the parent need to put the boundaries in place..
dont het me wrong, im not a mean cranky mum, well maybemy kids think i am at times, but i am a stern mum because i dont want my kds to be like some of the teenagers i see walking around and am absolutely appaled at..
they are in no way stifled, when we are at home they are free to be the wild noisy rambunctious little beings they are, but in that they are learning that there is a time and a place for everything..
and you know what, my kids are happy kids, so i think im doin OK....

Seaason

Yes having children makes you more patient and no there is no reason you can't have respectful children who are confident and independent.

My theory is that you're not raising children so much as you're raising adults. Childhood is a time of wonder and excitement but it is also a time for teaching and learning. Disrespect of others, their space or their property is not tolerated. Disrespect of yourself, your space, or your property is also not tolerated. This is non negotiable period end of story. Putting your hands on someone else ( hitting, hurting, kicking) is also non negotiable, they aren't allowed to period. Expressing your feelings and opinions is encouraged but not in a way that will hurt others. My kids are held responsible for their actions and know that there will be consequences. For example my daughter lost her jacket, not a big deal because people lose things. However, I held her responsible for looking for it and she chose to cop an attitude over doing so. She didn't get in trouble for losing the jacket but did get in trouble for her non -chalant attitude about it and lack of respect for the fact that it cost money to replace. So now she has to do extra chores to pay for the jacket she lost and then for the money to buy a new one. Maybe this sounds harsh but I believe its important for my kids to understand the value of a dollar and respect the things they have. I tend to look at things like how would they survive in the work place or in a marriage if they have never been taught about hard work, compassion, the value of a dollar, respect, how to appreciate it all, and that sometimes life is simply not fair. I always encourage them to work their problems out on their own if at all possible. I don't interfere every time they get their feelings hurt at school, instead I ask why they are upset and discuss what happened and how best to handle it. Everything is a learning opportunity. I expect manners and to act a certain way in public and I believe the best way to do that is to teach it at home first. If you respect your own space you won't disrespect others ( my kids were never allowed to jump on our couch so they never considered jumping on anyone else's). If we go to the store not everyone always gets something. Just because one child needs shoes doesn't mean they all get shoes. I know my kids aren't perfect ( they are 15, 13, 10, and 4 months), but so far they are pleasant to be around, doing well in school, have outside interests, nice friends, no drugs or sex, and are overall some of my favorite people. I know I rambled but I see so many parents who need to wake up and realize they are turning the little heathens they are raising out into society to terrorize the rest of us someday.

I doubt myself every day. Am I being to harsh, am I not being harsh enough? I have a two year old, my first. Ahhhhhh! I thought I would have an easier time with the terrible twos because she can talk so well, and I have read that the communication issue is a large part of the terrible twos. But, we still have our two year moments. I would suggest doing a lot of research, that has helped me to understand the state of a two year olds mind and the conflict they are going through. It has helped me to have more patience with her and to understand it is a normal part of her development. However, tantrums cannot and will not be tolerated, but they need to be handled with patients. We use time outs and taking away privileges, and a lot of negotiation, I think we're doing ok.

The fact that you are here asking for advice and looking for alternatives to what you know is already a sign that you are going to be a good mother.

Trust yourself; keep an open mind, and research, research, research.

Good luck.

Well until by boys came along i thought i was patient lol but boy did that change lol. Now i am having boy no.4 and i don't think i can get anymore patient.

Stacey.x