I know this is quite random, but I find it hard to talk about this stuff with anybody close, so here I go:
My dad's having a surgery in a few months time. It's nothing life threatening (at least it's not supposed to be) but I feel bad about it. It's just like everything was OK and then DANG!!! My dad's problem is that he never complains about ANYTHING. He's really good in coping with pain and troubles. But finally he surrendered to his own body. Suddenly, I feel so puzzled. He's my dad, the only one I've ever had. I love him and I want him to know that. I'm so worried that something bad will happen to him. But I just don't know how to open to him. We've never had that kind of a very close relationship like me and mom have. I was the last one to know about his surgery, cause I wasn't at home and whatever. The problem is, he's a little bit antagonistic when anybody wants to profess his/her love to him. I don't know why, it's like he wasn't sure that's true. He kinda always was in my mom's shadow, cause she's just brilliant in everything and everybody loves her. That's why HE loves her, anyway. I think he might think he doesn't deserve that kind of really intimate attention, if you know what I'm talking about. I mean love. I want to be home while he recovers. I want to be close to him. Blah, blah, I'm being melodramatic, I know, but this is what I feel. Love is weird.
Any experience similar to this? Is that appropriate to feel when you're self-sustaining twenty

-sorry, pressed the button earlier - damn - self-sustaining twenty-year-old woman? I hope I'm not being childish. Just wanted to tell this aloud (or write out of me). Thanks.

honey ur just worried about ur dad, thats natural.
my dad had major surgeryon his spine 5 yearsago and at the time i lived half way accross the country so i couldnt be there for him..
so i wrote him a letter and posted it..
it said all the things i had wanted to tell him over the years but never did, and he still has that letter today..
i dontthink he is purposely antagonistic when it comes to love , i think maybe hes just uncomfortable with all the open attention.. try and be a little more subtle about it.. when hes recovering, be there for him, do the little things he wont be able to, im sure that he will recieve that much easier than open declarations of affection... my dad is the sameway..

best of luck 2 ur dad, i hope all goes well 4 him
Seaason

Hun, its completely normal.

I'm not all that close to most of my family, and live a few hours away from most of them. And a few months ago I found out that my almost 90 year old mammaw had gotten in a car wreck, I almost completely broke down. I hadnt seen her in 2 years, and wasnt even that close to her, but it suddenly hit me that I needed to see her.

Even if I just think one of my dogs might be sick, I get in a worried mess.


Idk what to say about the not feeling worthy thing... I kinda feel like that myself sometimes, though not to that degree. Just sit down with him and let him know that you care for him and love him. I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

It is so weird that I come arcoss your topic. I too am almost like you. My dad is having a major surgery in about 8 hours. And my Dad & I have never been close at all, I lived at home with my parents up until 7 years ago, and he & I never really talked, just a passing Hey, here and there. And I guess it is the way our realtionship has always been, but my stubborn pride will not let anyone really know I fell about him. So this surgery that he's about to have has a 50/50 chance of survival. And I have had a few months to prepare myself, and all I can do is cry everytime I think about the fact that he might not make it through. And I kept telling myself I need to spend some time with him and talk to him, but I just kept chickening out. So my Dad called me yesterday after he was checked into the hospital, and I still just froze up I just could not say anything really. But he told me to tell my kids that he loves them, and then he told me that he loved me, and I got choked up and I said I loved him too. It was a short phone call, because I just could not stand to let him know how I really feel.

I tell you what, life is just hard. Like, where is that easy button like on that tv commercial. LOL! Anyways, I know exactly where You are coming from , and if You need to talk, I will more than happy to listen. Maybe we can learn from each other!

Thank you for your responses. It's just difficult to talk about feelings. And it's even more difficult to talk about my feelings with my dad. I think it really might be easier not to talk about it but to demonstrate it. Since the school is practically over in the time of his surgery (hopefully), I'm planning to be a Stay At Home Daughter and to help with everything. I don't know if it'll be sufficient work to do - my mom is there and so are my sisters and brothers - but I can always try. Maybe we will open to each other while spending more time together. And we can go fishing after his recovery. Although I hate fishing.
I guess only time will tell. I hope everything goes well. Thank you again.