I really have nobody else to talk to right now, so I figured I'd get on here and vent a little since I have no one else to turn to. My family isn't happy with me, and we haven't seen or spoke to each other in a month. My friends wouldn't understand, they don't have a life like mine. I tried talking to my so called "best friend" but all she said was she didn't know what to say, and that I am just looking for someone to feel sorry for me, and i'm looking for some attention. Which I am NOT. I am just looking for someone to talk to, I can only keep things bottled in for so long, yanno?

As I said in my first post, I am not withh my first baby's dad (Michael) He would occasionally text me to see how Mikahlean was doing, but nothing more than that. And he hasn't done that in about three weeks :/. She hasn't actually seen her daddy since she was a few months old. But like she remembers. She tried to talk to him on the phone, but she can't really talk yet so he gets annoyed and doesn't talk to her. I feel so bad for her, I mean how could I have done something so stupid as to get pregnant by such a worthless guy, and get myself into the situation that I am in...

And this second baby that I'm carrying, his or her dad is Justin.. We got together in March, and just a few days ago we got into a stupid argument, and it turned into a huge fight, and now he won't answer my calls or texts. Once again, I find myself to be pregnant by a worthless piece of shit sperm donor. I am so unhappy with myself. I just want the best for my kids, and I hope I can provide that. But I'm not sure if I can handle two on my own. I mean one kid, full time employment, and college classes full time is hard enough. Plus another baby? So close in age? I don't know how I'm gonna do it. All at the age of 18 years old?! I am such a failure.
When I told Justin I was pregnant he wasn't happy, but he wasn't a jerk about it like Michael was. He was going with my to the few doctors appointments that I've had, and he's already bought a few baby things, like bigger things, but I honestly don't know if he's gonna be around anymore. He already has a 3 year old son named Kade, and he doesn't seem him often.. Justin and Kade's mom don't get along, he randomly left her... and ignored her.. Like he's doing to me.. I just don't want him to stay gone. Because I love him. And I need him here.

I know other people have had worse, and my situaton/life could be worse.. I'm not trying to get people to feel sorry for me, or baby me, or anything along those lines. That's not what I'm here for. I'm here to maybe find someone to talk to, or at least just to vent, or someone to listen to me for once since I have nobody to talk to now, cept for my daughter, who isn't even one yet.. Like she understands. Ha.

Thanks for reading/listening. Sorry it was soo long. Just had to vent a little.

Sounds like you are handling it o.k. I am proud of you taking care of your daughter, working and going to school. I know it is hard but I know you can stand on your feet and handle it. Give Justin space and he will probably come around.I seriously doubt he will "be gone".

You are NOT a failure. You are doing the best you can, and doing the best you can NEVER makes you a failure.

I won't say I understand you completely, because I am not in your shoes. But one thing I can tell you is that you are not a failure, just that you may have made some unwise decisions. But hey, you're only 18, and you got so many more years ahead to make better choices and change your life to be better.

If you're in college, go find out if your school have programs that help moms. Utilize your student loans properly to maintain the basics for you and your children. Don't give up on school. You may take time off, but do not give up on it.

With the babies' fathers, I think you need to get your minds together about them. If they are being irresponsible for their children, you need to be cold and get them to act their roles. Get child support from them, no mercy.

It is a bit much for your age but you're doing all you can. Where there's a will there's a way, right? I wouldn't worry a/b your daughter's father (first born). If he doesn't want to be apart of her life, that's his loss. You're her everything, she doesn't understand nor will she have to. You need to be there for her as you're doing. Maybe Justin needs to think things through. I mean you both will have two kids and even though he may not see his son, it doesn't mean that he'll be the same way. Give him the benefit of the doubt for right now, especially since you've had an argument. If he doesn't come around by the time the baby's due, than it's just you and your kids. Start thinking of a plan that will work out for you and your children now. That way you will have something ready if it all falls apart. Like maybe you'll have to take night classes and find a baby sitter. Or maybe you'll have to look into online courses so you can stay home w/them. If you can't do that, than maybe ask your boss or someone you work w/about what other things you can look into. What do you do w/your oldest now, if you're at work all day? I know that you can do it, and even if you feel like you can't, you need to be strong. Sometimes, I know this isn't in the cards for some people, but if you're in a bad situation than you need to put them up for adoption. You're doing it for you children so they have a great life. There's nothing wrong w/it. But as of right now I would start thinking of plan to help you and your's out.

Hello,

Sounds like you have alot on your plate right now. N if your so called best friend said that to you, then maybe she isnt a friend u need. JMO. I would never ever say that to my best friend. It sounds like ur trying to better you n your childrens lifes by going to school and keeping a job! Thats alot for a girl that has a baby and basiclly doing it on your own. So keep ur head held high. N maybe the new babys dad will come around, n if he doesnt I hope n pray u guys could be friends and he will help u out. what ever u do dont quit school. this will be something that will help u n ur kids in the long run. I hope all works out.Is the argurment with your family something you can try to work out, sounds like u could really use there support right now. N if you need some one to talk to. send me a pm n ill gv u my email n stuff. I can always use more friends. Good luck *Mary*