my other half is really not happy about me being pregnant and i only found out on thursday that I'm 5 weeks and the dr told me not to stress out but its becoming difficult not to and its gotten to the point where he told me to have an abortion and i nearly turned around and said yes but not meaning it...how do i get him to turn around and see that this baby won't stuff our lives up but the opposite? I'm 22 and his 24 and this is our first

Good question. Do you have support with your parents? Go there and talk to your mom, she may be willing to be there for you. Good Luck... Your boyfriend just may be in shock, give him a couple of days.

Firstly i'd like to congradulate you on your pregnancy, seeing as it appears your happy about it. And your right children are so enriching to your life, they are worth so much more than any sacrifices you might have to make for them.

As a guy i can understand your partners fears and hesitency about becoming a father, especially when this pregnancy wasnt planned. I've been in his shoes to some degree. My oldest son was the result of an accidental pregancy and came as a total shock to both his mother and I. We were 21 and newly engaged at the time with no real plans of getting married anytime soon, let alone having a child. When we found out about the pregnancy i was no where near ready to become a father, or so i thought. I completely freaked out. The idea of being responsible for another life other than my own for the next 18 years was overwhelming. I was terrified of everything. Would i be a good father? Could i care for a baby? What if i hurt the baby by dropping it or something? What if i scarred it for life and made it into a criminal or basket case? Could i provide for a child? Ect... So many questions screamed through my head and i didnt want to be me at that point any more. Now i never even conisdered asking my now wife to have an abortion, and i never considered abandoning her and our child but becoming a dad when you're not ready can be terrifying. it didnt take me long though to begin to work through the fears. the first time i heard my son's heart beat i fell in love and my paternal instincts began to kick in. I realized my wife and i could do it. We could raise a wonderful, happy, healthy child. And today we have a bright, inquistive, energetic son who will be be 4 in a few weeks. He, his little brother and soon to be baby brother and sister, are the center of my world. i cannot imagine my life without my wife and children now and i wouldnt want to.

If you want to have your baby dont let his fear stand in your way. Having your child will be one of the greatest experiences of your life and if the father cannot get on board with that then its going to be his loss, one he will probably regret with all his being down the line. dont have an abortion because he says so. if you choose to have an abortion that is your choice not his, unless the roles were reversed then he'd have some say. I hope for his and his childs sake he comes around but if not and he wants to miss out on raising his child then its his loss. Go after child support and let him be a moron about it.

Keep trying to talk to him but dont be too pushy about his role. Let him know u intend to keep the child but dont try forcing him to become a dad instantly or you just might add to his problems. if your comfortbale raising your child alone then let him know that so he doesnt have to feel like hes being held at gun point. give him some room to breath. Maybe he just needs time to adjust to the idea. Maybe family can help him see the light but dont let them badger him. theres no worse feeling then feeling like everyone in the world is against you, whether it be about a baby or anything else. offer to include him in doctors visits if hes willing to join you. maybe watching his childs development might trigger paternal emotions. you could even try bringing him on here to talk to other expectant father or some other forum where he can share his anxieties and feelings whit other men who are in similar boats. that could help. In the end though it still might be posible that your partners is simply just not ready to be a dad or even meant to be one. there might be nothing you or anyone else can do to bring him around. In that case then you and your child are probably better off without him. Make him own up to his financial obligations to his child and let him be.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope he comes around but if not im sure you will do fine as a single mother.

i know im replying to my own msg but yea, his mother said to my partner that because he already has a kid if i have a kid she is going to disown him and to give him time to get used to the idea of being without his mum (his a mummies boy) we arent telling her till i start to show...but because of that he has told me im not allowed to tell any of my family my good news until he has told his mum but i have already done that, told all my friends and family even went to my dads grave to tell him...but because i have done that he went off at me this arvo when he got home from work saying that im immature and being childish about having a kid

we were in the same situation with our first, only i was 17 and he was 18. he tried to push for an abortion but i wouldnt do it. he loves our little girl so much from the second she was born, she's 3 1/2 now. do what you feel is right. a mistake is something you'd take back if you could, a surprise is something you didnt know you wanted until you had it.

After having our son, my husband and I can't imagine what we ever did without him! When we got home from the hospital with him, my husband was laying across the bed with him, looking down at him, and said, "I didn't know it was going to be this sweet." I think your baby's father will come around once he sees his baby; please don't abort your child and don't let him talk you into it. Is there someone close to you that you can talk to?