I am getting closer and closer to my due date and I have had some time to sit down and think.I have been thinking of is it really a good idea to still keep the girls and the more I think about the more I think it will be better to give them up.I really love them I do but if you really love someone you would do what's best for them right?Plus with one of them having HCM it is going to be hard paying for the medication that they need.I mean there are so many people out there who can't have children and I am sure that there is a couple who will love my girls and be able to support them money wise.I just want what is best for my babies.So am I really making the right decision by keeping them?

Noone can make that decision but you. you already know what your going to do, you just want to hear someone confirm it. follow your heart sweety.

This is strictly a heart thing! I can't even imagine being in your position and I hope you will find peace with whatever decision you make. No one will love them like their mom, so don't feel like you are actually shorting them if you keep them! You do need to support them financially, but most people just seem to work that out. Have you looked into families yet? I bet once you do, you will know for sure what you want to do. You will realize no family will love them like you, or you will find a family that makes you sure they will be happy. Good luck, follow your gut. You most likely have a stronger feeling one way than the other and your gut feeling is right.

Dear Pregnant and Scared,

I am 35, pregnant for the fist time and adopted. Sadly I was bron in the early 70s during a time when there was no such thing as open adoption. After many years of searching I have a wonderful relationshp with my biological family, both immediate and extended - today.

I think when people say "no one will love your babies like you do", it is very short sighted and uninformed. We live in the "It Takes A Village" era. Parenting is more than biology. It is having the resources, as well as willingness to make sacrifices, that are best for your children.

I don't know your full story (how old you are and what means you have to care for your babies, family support, etc.), but I do know that here are so many wonderful options for open adoptions these days that give the birth mother much more control and involvement than ever before. Our society has come around to understand that we are a product of both nature and nuture, and should be cut off from neither.

I would encourage you to look into open adoption as an option for you. You can select parents who fully believe in the value of having the birth mother involved in the lives of their children.

You might just be able to give your girls the best of all worlds.


Best of luck to you!

no one can make this choice for you. do what you feel is right. if you cant do it, dont feel ashamed. make sure there is someone who can. if you feel you can do it, an the resources and support are there, then go for it. you wont be a perfect parent, no one is. im not going to tell you its easy, it's not, but it is completely worth it to see the smiles on their beautiful faces. best of luck to you in whatever decision you make.
sincerely
another young mom

I agree with puck, no one can make the decision for you because then it wouldnt be your decision it would be theirs. Just follow your heart, deep in your heart you will know what is best for you & your babies!!
What ever you decide, its your choice & dont be worried about what people think or do- because you have to live with that choice for the rest of your life, not them.
I agree, having children is expensive. They are always wanting or needing something- from nappies to clothes- and nothing comes cheap these days let me tell you. Not only that they need your love & attendion 24/7.. theres no night's out with your friends every night or long quiet baths when you have children, trust me your lucky if you can go to toilet in peace!

If you think you can provide for your babies & give them everything they need, then go for it. If you cant, then like someone else said there is always open adopted.
Open adopted is a wonderful thing, my mum was adopted as a baby, im so greatful to her real parents for doing this- instead of taking the easier option out- otherwise me & my brother wouldnt of been here today!
Also my close friend give birth to her baby at 17 & gave him up for adopted. She knew in her heart of hearts it would be the best thing for him as she was a single parent, just left school & still lived at home. She knew deep down she wouldnt be able to provide everything he needed & wanted. She wanted to give him the best possible start in life & didnt want to struggle to bring him up.
She wanted to go to college, get her own place & meet the perfect guy before she settled down. Still to this day she knows it was for the best & knows she had to do it so he had the best in life not just the good!
She got to choose her babies 'new' parents, who had been trying for many yrs to have a child of their own, they live about 1hr away from her and she still gets to see him on birthdays & xmas ect and gets letters & pics sent to her all the time so she knows how hes doing & what hes learning ect- which she wanted, some people want to know some people dont!


Sorry for babblin, just wanted to try & fit everything in. If you want to talk feel free to PM me.
I wish you all the best for the future, my thoughts are with you!