The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he cr*pped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.


ROFL... There's so many more, i just can't add them all... i <3 Chuck Norris jokes.

even though chuck norris annoys me SO muuch i think the jokes are funny. here are some of my favorites...

the reason why aliens dont attack is that they are waiting for chuck norris to die out

chuck norris only went sky diving once because the world only needs one grand canyon

if god can walk on water, chuck norris can swim through land

chuck norris can nail jello to a tree