My boyfriend just found out that he is going to be deployed in Feb, 2010. I was shocked and devastated. We had a great plan together, hoping that we could move out of my parents' place and form a real home of our own, with our son. And he would start school, and I would probably co-start a photography business. But now all of those are gone due to this deployment.

He has been deployed once about 8 years ago, so he kind of has an idea about what it is going to be like for himself. But this is the first time I am in a position like this. He has been away on and off since our son was born. But I always knew he will be back in the next month. But deployment is a different story. I just don't know how I am going to deal with this. I am feeling so anxious about this separation. I just don't know what to expect when he is gone.

First, know it is not something that can be changed. He made his choice to serve his country, and now he must.
Second, set a watch to your time and have him keep it with him. At a certain time every day both of you should do the same thing, look at the sky, say a prayer, just think about each other, or whatever you think up, but the knowledge that you are both doing it at the same time should bring you together a bit.
Third, write to him daily. You don't have to send it, just keep a journal as if you are telling him your life. It will make it feel as though you spoke to him every day.
Fourth, Ask for help if you can't take it. You are not stone, and you may not be able to handle all the stresses of "military wife" There is no shame in asking for help, either from friends, family, clergy, or a professional psychologist.

Bexie_08 wrote:

QUOTE:
First, know it is not something that can be changed. He made his choice to serve his country, and now he must.
Second, set a watch to your time and have him keep it with him. At a certain time every day both of you should do the same thing, look at the sky, say a prayer, just think about each other, or whatever you think up, but the knowledge that you are both doing it at the same time should bring you together a bit.
Third, write to him daily. You don't have to send it, just keep a journal as if you are telling him your life. It will make it feel as though you spoke to him every day.
Fourth, Ask for help if you can't take it. You are not stone, and you may not be able to handle all the stresses of "military wife" There is no shame in asking for help, either from friends, family, clergy, or a professional psychologist.

I jusr want to say, that is really great advice!

Thanks for the comfort and advice, Bexie and Connor!

I have just recently enrolled my son into a Child Observation class. We meet twice a week in a sort of indoor playground, where parents and children just come and talk and let the kids play. I went today, and I expressed about my situation to the instructor, and she is being very supportive and caring, so are the other parents. I am just glad that I've found a group like this to ease off my stresses and worries. I plan to keep going there the next semester, so I can have something that can take my mind off from Brad's absence.

I am anxious still, but sharing it with other people make it so much easier. And when I talk to people, I actually realize that I am not as weak as I thought. And it is so much better than just crying alone at home, and thinking how bad it is. I am now thinking that this is a good way to make us stronger. If we can get through this, we can get through a lot more ahead of us.

Just want to let you know you're not alone. I'm a military wife as well and though I don't have kids yet, we're trying. I have a girlfriend I met here in AK and her hubby will be leaving for a yr. He's airforce, but training to go in w/the army. They have a little girl and they've only been in AK for 6mos. The wife is deff. freakin out b/c she's never had to live in large amounts of snow, if any, and she's trying to get a degree while she's here. I also have another girlfriend in NJ who is expecting her 2nd child (1st son) and her hubby is deploying in Dec. He will miss the birth of his son. It's extremely hard in every situation that the military puts us through, but if you ever need to vent or anything else, I'm here as well as some other ladies. Remember, it's ok to cry and to break down when you need to. Your situation isn't easy...my hubby left 4mos. after we were married and I had no idea what to do. Luckily I had my family and friends close by. Now that I'm all the way in AK, I don't know what it's goin to be like but 6mos. was a wake up call when he left! Be as strong as you can be and you'll make it through! It's the best feeling in the world when he comes home, that's all I had to look forward to

Thanks SHeff for your input.

I respect and admire the courage and energy of military wife. I always thought it must be a really tough time. But I just didn't imagine I would end up in the same position until I got together with my boyfriend. And we are not married. The bf/gf thing kinda make me feel even more distant.

Anyways, I better dive back into my website making. That keeps my mind off from sadness.